The Birthday Club

In everyone’s life, there are groups that we feel especially connected to: school organizations, alumni groups, civic clubs, bridge clubs, church groups. Each one fulfills a certain need in our lives. No other group has impacted my adult life like the Birthday Club.

A group of women, about a dozen of us fairly close in age, started meeting to celebrate birthdays over 30 years ago. When I came aboard, the group had already been meeting for a few years. A typical meeting is sharing a wonderful meal at one of our houses, or occasionally a shopping trip somewhere. We are a varied group, some married, some divorced, some widowed. We all have children and most of us have grandchildren.

Like so many things in life, it has taken me much longer than it should have to understand what this group has meant through the years. We have met and supported one another through almost all that life has to offer: weddings, funerals, births, cancer, job loss, infidelity, surgery, cross country moves, all the highs and lows you can think of. We have taken overnight shopping trips together, gone to Florida to the beach, and before my time as a member, there was even a trip to La Bare’s (a male strip club. (After hearing the stories I am really sad I missed that one.) We have dissected almost every topic one can imagine. A meeting might go from talking about the current political climate to a poll of who sleeps with/without their panties on. We have listened to each other laugh, cry, cackle and sob. When I return home after one of our get-togethers, my husband almost always asks, “So what did you learn at Birthday Club?” I assure you I have always learned something, even if the usefulness of the information is debatable.

We met a few days ago because one of our members is moving out of town to be closer to her children and grandchildren. This doesn’t mean she is out of the club, it just means we will have to be a little more creative in getting together. I think that may be the most important lesson this group of women has taught me: that no matter what happens in life, friendship and love are a constant; that no matter where we live, we are connected; and that our connections are so precious, so important, we must always make the effort to keep meeting as long as we are able. Even though we have met for 30 years, no one in the group seems to have aged at all. We have aged together, so it is imperceptible to me.

There has been a running joke in our group that we will be pallbearers at each other’s funerals. We thought this was pretty funny when we were a lot younger. The possibility seemed so distant, so far away. For better or worse, loss and the passing of time has taught us differently. What I also know for certain is that these wonderful women, all with different backgrounds, politics, and histories– have carried me through my adult life as surely as a pallbearer carries a coffin at a funeral They have been my life bearers. My world has been so much richer because of their wisdom, hilarity, steadfast friendship and love of good food (couldn’t leave that out). Also, if you aren’t part of a group like this,just start one. It doesn’t have to be for birthdays– you can pick any reason. You’ll be so glad you did.